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Ivanka Trump Could Have Been The Bachelorette But Instead She Is First Daughter  Ivanka Trump Could Have Been The Bachelorette But Instead She Is First Daughter 

Would you watch Ivanka Trump go on a series of weird dates with young douchebags? Maybe not now, but what about in, say, the mid-2000s?

Can the Shutdown Be Shutdown? Can the Shutdown Be Shutdown?

Welcome to day 16 of the shutdown, lads.

We Need to Talk About Wizard Poop We Need to Talk About Wizard Poop

Everybody poops, including fictional wizards. But the logistics of pooping in the Harry Potter universe continues to bother the fuck out of me.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Is Going to Have to Sit Through So Many Terrible Interviews  Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Is Going to Have to Sit Through So Many Terrible Interviews 

CBS has released a teaser of an upcoming 60 Minutes interview between correspondent Anderson Cooper and newly sworn-in Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and it’s a reminder of both the promise of the radical new members of the 116th Congress and the familiar disdain most mainstream journalists have of…

Maybe Don't Hashtag a Photo of Your Very Naked Child on Instagram Maybe Don't Hashtag a Photo of Your Very Naked Child on Instagram

Did you know that posting a photo of your naked child with the hashtag #nakedchild could attract creeps? Makes a lot of fucking sense, but according to experts this is apparently new information to some parents who should probably never be allowed on the internet ever again.

Aubrey O'Day's Donald Trump Jr.-Themed New Year's Eve Party Turned Into a Mess  Aubrey O'Day's Donald Trump Jr.-Themed New Year's Eve Party Turned Into a Mess 

You know how Aubrey O’Day was supposed to host a birthday party for reported ex Donald Trump Jr. on New Year’s Eve, at the behest of Larry Flynt, who hates President Trump’s guts? Well, it happened, but not according to plan.

Learning History With Dr. President  Learning History With Dr. President 

Happy New Year! First Barf Bag of 2019! Let’s get on with it!

And Here We Have Ryan Zinke's Goodbye Letter Written in Red Marker  And Here We Have Ryan Zinke's Goodbye Letter Written in Red Marker 

Wednesday is Ryan Zinke’s last day as Secretary of the Interior and pretend geologist, and apparently the only writing instrument left in his office was a red Sharpie. It’s the only way to explain why Zinke, hater of doors and tribal lands, wrote a goodbye letter that looks like this:

At My High School Reunion, I Buried My Teen Self At My High School Reunion, I Buried My Teen Self

Stories of high school reunions are steeped in revenge. Think of Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion, where two titular outcasts concoct fantastical lies in the hopes of impressing the mean girls who made their teens living hell. Sometimes the trope is averted, like on 30 Rock when Liz Lemon attends her high school…

Ivanka Trump to Empower Every Single Woman on the Entire Planet Ivanka Trump to Empower Every Single Woman on the Entire Planet

Ivanka Trump, first daughter and effective government employee, is kicking off 2019 with a White House initiative aimed toward “women’s global economic empowerment.” Having succeeded in economically empowering every woman in the United States, it makes sense that she would expand her horizons.

A Brief Tour of the New Year's Eve Programming on MTV as the New Millennial Dawned  A Brief Tour of the New Year's Eve Programming on MTV as the New Millennial Dawned 

On January 1, 1999, MTV’s Carson Daily rung in the new year by introducing Limp Bizkit, who proceeded to do a cover of Prince’s “1999.”

It Begins It Begins

Today—on the last day of 2018—the 2020 presidential race officially began as Senator Elizabeth Warren made her presidential run official. Meanwhile, former campaign staffers of Senator Bernie Sanders have asked for a meeting with Sanders and his team about sexual assault and harassment during the 2016 campaign,…

How Can Woodstock 2019 Top All the Other Woodstocks? How Can Woodstock 2019 Top All the Other Woodstocks?

For some reason, Woodstock 2019 is in the works.

How Mollie Tibbetts's Mother Rejected the Anti-Immigrant Politics Some Expected of Her How Mollie Tibbetts's Mother Rejected the Anti-Immigrant Politics Some Expected of Her

It is not unusual for the parents of those killed by undocumented immigrants to become anti-immigration crusaders. They’re useful, sympathetic props by President Donald Trump—who calls them “Angel Families”—and others on the right to advance an agenda that paints the undocumented as ruthless monsters, shameless…

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and the Enduring Myths of the Democratic Party Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and the Enduring Myths of the Democratic Party

Though Democratic Senator Claire McCaskill’s lost her re-election bid during November’s mid-terms, it that hasn’t stopped the Missouri politician from offering unsolicited advice to those who did win, including recently elected House representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

President Trump and Melania Visit Iraq, Smooch President Trump and Melania Visit Iraq, Smooch

Hope you’re enjoying this erotic photo.

Parkland Shooter Obsessively Texted Girl He Labeled in His Contacts As 'Warning Love Of Your Life' Parkland Shooter Obsessively Texted Girl He Labeled in His Contacts As 'Warning Love Of Your Life'

On Friday, the Broward Sherrif’s Office (BSO) released a report detailing information about the man behind the deadly shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. While the most salacious detail—that the Parkland shooter, a fan of Donald Trump, put a “Make American Great Again” hat in the…

It's the Best (and Most Wonderful) Time of the Year to Revisit Home Alone 2 It's the Best (and Most Wonderful) Time of the Year to Revisit Home Alone 2

Roughly two months after my 9th birthday, in 1992, Home Alone 2: Lost In New York opened in theaters, with Macaulay Culkin reprising the role that made him a kid star. In this classic tale of child abandonment reframed as a family-friendly holiday classic, Culkin plays Kevin McAllister, a resourceful 8-year-old who’s…

Stephen Miller Is Normal Bald Again Stephen Miller Is Normal Bald Again

After dipping his toes into the world of whatever the fuck this was, Trump adviser Stephen Miller has decided to go back to being normal bald. 

Planned Parenthood Reportedly Discriminates Against Its Pregnant Employees  Planned Parenthood Reportedly Discriminates Against Its Pregnant Employees 

Planned Parenthood’s dedication to treating pregnant people with dignity allegedly doesn’t extend to its own staff.

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