Albert Burneko's posts - French uPOST

No, It's Not Good News, It's Never Good News And Never Will Be Again No, It's Not Good News, It's Never Good News And Never Will Be Again

Here is a good technique: anytime this or that Trump stooge or Republican or conservative (they’re all the same thing, really) makes surprising headlines, and you find yourself wondering if they might have done it for reasons you can respect or admire or at least in which you might possibly vest some hope or optimism,…

Markelle Fultz Is A Deranged Weirdo Who Doesn't Know How To Use His Limbs Markelle Fultz Is A Deranged Weirdo Who Doesn't Know How To Use His Limbs

Philadelphia 76ers basketball forgetter Markelle Fultz fouled out in 19 minutes of dreadful action this morning in an exhibition game in Shenzhen, China, against a skeleton-crew Dallas Mavericks team without DeAndre Jordan, Harrison Barnes, and Dirk Nowitzki. He looked real bad! But somehow not nearly as bad as he…

This October, Root For Your Coworkers' Misery This October, Root For Your Coworkers' Misery

The Nationals are despicable and I hate them, and anyway they’re out. The Orioles were the lousiest team in living memory this year. As a baseball fan in and from the broader D.C. area, I’m stranded in these playoffs, with no obvious rooting interest—except one: the joy of my dear coworkers’ sadness.

Deadspin Up All Night: There's No One In The Place Deadspin Up All Night: There's No One In The Place

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. You’ve gotta be true to your code.

Why The Fuck Isn't Kobe Bryant A Pariah Yet? Why The Fuck Isn't Kobe Bryant A Pariah Yet?

Did you hear? Kobe Bryant is a body-care guru now. Partnering with a pair of business-bro whipdicks and a smattering of pro athletes, including NBA MVP James Harden, he’s launching a line of beauty products for athletes and men who want to pretend they are athletes. Here’s a link to an article about it from Women’s…

NBA 2K19's Brand Humping Is Craven, Shameless, And Straight-Up Evil NBA 2K19's Brand Humping Is Craven, Shameless, And Straight-Up Evil

If you have read anything about the NBA 2K series in the past couple years, then you know that its centerpiece “MyCareer” mode, in which you guide a custom-created fledgling NBA player to stardom, is a hyper-branded, microtransaction-choked nightmare all but explicitly designed to pressure human players into spending …

LeBron, In A Lakers Uniform, Doing LeBron Stuff LeBron, In A Lakers Uniform, Doing LeBron Stuff

The Los Angeles Lakers opened their preseason last night in San Diego. Who cares! I don’t care. The NBA should shut up for at least another couple weeks. Did they win? Who were their opponents? Who led them in scoring? Don’t care!

The Horror On TV The Horror On TV

That all of this—the unalloyed and dovetailing lust for power of one white male sociopath and the aggregate of white men, the future of the highest judicial body in the country, that country’s total failure to assign any kind of consequence to sexual violence, America’s marrow-deep hatred and fear and distrust of…

Real Subtle, Joe Flacco Real Subtle, Joe Flacco

Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco sucks real bad, and moreover has been just sort of broadly shitty for several years, just a total glassy-eyed doofus with a giraffe neck and a knack for cartoonishly ill-timed mistakes. He’s also old. Taken together, these are the reasons why the Ravens selected former Heisman…

The New Yorker Looks To A Stupid Man To Answer An Even Stupider Question The New Yorker Looks To A Stupid Man To Answer An Even Stupider Question

Sports and politics cannot be separated. Sports expresses, iterates, and interacts with politics at basically every point of their intersection. Even apart from the myriad ways sports, specifically, contain and are shaped by politics, as parts of what we’re still obliged to call a society even as it unravels around…

Dead Letters: Special "What Donald Trump Supporters Are Like" Edition Dead Letters: Special "What Donald Trump Supporters Are Like" Edition

Welcome back to Dead Letters, the feature in which we reprint our favorite reader mail. We should take this moment to remind you that all emails to Deadspin and its editors and writers are on the record unless otherwise specified. Now for your letters.

Yep, America's Worst Human Is Still President Yep, America's Worst Human Is Still President

Hey pals. How’s your morning been? Did your Breakfast Behemoth turn out okay? Here’s what the President of the United States has been up to:

Cynthia Nixon's Bagel Order Is Fine Cynthia Nixon's Bagel Order Is Fine

Were you thinking pizza lumbered down the mountainside, fully formed? That the ancients plucked gyros from the surf and ate them whole? I bring news. That’s not how it happened.

I'm Tired Of Hearing About The 2008 Celtics! I'm Tired Of Hearing About The 2008 Celtics!

Many many years ago, Ray Allen, Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, and Rajon Rondo were coworkers in Boston. Doc Rivers was their coach. They won the 2008 NBA championship together; then, later, some of them went on to work in other places. Some of them don’t really like each other. They don’t all come to each others’ life…

I Have The Worst Pet Peeve I Have The Worst Pet Peeve

Okay. Okay. So. An ugly and kind of dumb but real thing that sometimes happens in the life of a more-or-less normal person is, you had the idea that you and your longtime pal Hubert were meeting up for Special Pal Beers together, like in old times, just the two old pals, but then you find out that your old pal also…

Washington Post Op-Ed: John McCain Will Haunt Donald Trump Into Defeat From The Mirror Dimension Washington Post Op-Ed: John McCain Will Haunt Donald Trump Into Defeat From The Mirror Dimension

An increasingly prominent part of my life in 2018 is the urge to grab and cling onto anything that seems, even a little bit, like it might be the thing that Finally Defeats Donald Trump. No small portion of my day is spent managing my relationship to that urge, struggling against its downward pull, reminding myself…

Behold, Tomato Time Is Suddenly Upon You Behold, Tomato Time Is Suddenly Upon You

A very long time ago (2015), our old buddy Tom Scocca posited, convincingly, that there are eight distinct seasons. This part of the year, from August through mid-September, he calls “Yellow Summer,” and ranks as the fifth-best season, which seems fine. After all, it’s muggy and buzzy and gross outside; the air is…

A Brief Blog About Putting Lunch On Your Head

Here’s Miami Marlins first base coach Perry Hill, wearing a soggy leaf of lettuce under his batting helmet to stay cool during yesterday’s sweltering afternoon game against the Atlanta Braves:

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