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The Mets Made The Phillies Look Like The Mets The Mets Made The Phillies Look Like The Mets

The New York Mets are the greatest baseball team of the past two days. Following up on a 16-5 drubbing of the Orioles on Wednesday night, one of the biggest laughingstocks in baseball took down the Phillies this afternoon by a staggeringly competent score of 24-4. Those 24 runs today are a Mets franchise record.

César Hernández Circles The Bases On A Bunt Thanks To Diamondbacks' Errors  César Hernández Circles The Bases On A Bunt Thanks To Diamondbacks' Errors 

In the eighth inning of the Phillies’ game against the Diamondbacks on Tuesday, two throwing errors by Arizona led to César Hernández touching ‘em all on a bunt.

Maikel Franco Punctuates Walk-Off Dinger With Incredible Bat Flip

Every bat flip demonstrates a certain amount of contempt for the bat. Something like who needs this piece of shit or get this fucking thing out of my face, odd and rude attitudes to have towards a tool that just helped you do one of the coolest things in baseball, which is sock a mighty dinger.

Phillies Go Yard Seven Times, Allow Us To Remember Some Guys Phillies Go Yard Seven Times, Allow Us To Remember Some Guys

The Phillies scored five runs in their final five innings—one in each frame—to pull away from the Reds for a 9-4 win and extend their lead in the NL East to 2.5 games. The youngest team in baseball appears to be no fluke, or at least, they’re starting to be confident they’re not, which is maybe sort of kind of like…

The Dodgers Waved The White Flag The Dodgers Waved The White Flag

The Dodgers ran out of relievers, and that was just fine with Trevor Plouffe. “I’m going to win the game right here,” Plouffe said to himself as he walked to the plate in the bottom of the 16th, set to face Dodgers outfielder Kiké Hernandez, whose appearance on the mound was somewhat inexplicable, given that Rich…

Let's All Laugh At Dellin Betances Trying To Hit Major League Pitching Let's All Laugh At Dellin Betances Trying To Hit Major League Pitching

The Yankees are already a 50-win ballclub, and nobody on that team gets strikeouts at a higher rate than relief pitcher Dellin Betances. That’s why I don’t feel too bad laughing along with his teammates as Betances learns what it’s like to be on the other side of Major League pitching. In the eighth inning of a win…

Phillie Phanatic Shoots Woman In Face With Hot Dog Gun, Sends Her To Hospital Phillie Phanatic Shoots Woman In Face With Hot Dog Gun, Sends Her To Hospital

The Phillie Phanatic aimed his hot dog gun, pressed a button and fired into the stands. The duct tape-wrapped hot dog flew through the air … and hit Kathy McVay in the face. It knocked off her glasses, gave her a black eye and sent her to the emergency room. She has to ice her face every 20 minutes.

Jorge Alfaro's 89-MPH Throw To Second Is A Base-Stealer's Nightmare

The Phillies have been winning ballgames, more than anyone expected through this point in May. Some attribute that to pumping up the rotation with Jake Arrieta, Odubel Herrera’s scorching start, or Gabe Kapler’s cosmic management, but there also are the little things that don’t come through in the box score, like…

Odubel Herrera’s On-Base Streak Ended Even Though He Got On Base Odubel Herrera’s On-Base Streak Ended Even Though He Got On Base

Odubel Herrera didn’t start opening day, but since then, he’s been on fire: He leads the National League in batting average, at .344, and is 10th in slugging. (Yes, genius manager/fedora wearer Gabe Kapler benched his best player, now a legit NL MVP candidate, for the first game of the season.) The Phillies are a…

Shortstop Pedro Florimon Pitches Perfect Inning, Then Socks Mighty Dinger Shortstop Pedro Florimon Pitches Perfect Inning, Then Socks Mighty Dinger

The dreaded Cardinals chased Phillies ace Jake Arrieta after just three innings in Friday night’s gloomy, rain-delayed tilt in St. Louis. The score was then 4-0; by the time reliever Drew Hutchison finished the sixth inning it was 9-2; the game finally became a laugher when Yacksel Rios allowed another three runs in…

Max Scherzer Is A Fire-Breathing Dragon Max Scherzer Is A Fire-Breathing Dragon

The marquee pitching matchup of the day had former Cy Young winners Max Scherzer and Jake Arrieta pitching the rubber match of the Phillies-Nationals series. Arrieta was fine—he allowed a run on two hits and two walks in six innings—but Mad Max was downright historic:

Pedro Florimon Ruins The Nationals With Slick Glove Fake-Out

Phillies starter Vince Velasquez and four relievers held a banged-up and disappointing Nationals lineup to just two hits in Saturday’s 3-1 Phillies victory. The Nats engineered eight walks in the game, but left eight runners on base and were 0-3 with runners in scoring position. They did, however, put speedster Trea…

Pug Terrorized By Phillie Phanatic While Trying To Enjoy Ballgame

The Phillie Phanatic celebrated his birthday yesterday by inviting a whole bunch of dogs to hang out with him at the ballpark. Some even performed in an agility contest! With the Phillies trailing in the bottom of the eighth inning, the Phanatic said hello to this unsuspecting pug and maybe kinda sorta tried to eat…

Ender Inciarte's Home-Run Robbery Was So Good It Fooled The Phillies Announcer Ender Inciarte's Home-Run Robbery Was So Good It Fooled The Phillies Announcer

Braves center fielder Ender Inciarte covered a tremendous amount of ground to get to a Scott Kingery home run attempt in tonight’s Atlanta-Philly game. And even after he got to the wall in left-center, he had to stretch himself as high as possible to snag the long fly ball.

The Tale Of Gabe Kapler's Bizarre Ice Cream Habit Is Actually Even Weirder  The Tale Of Gabe Kapler's Bizarre Ice Cream Habit Is Actually Even Weirder 

It’s too early in the baseball season to make any meaningful judgments about the strength of any teams, but one takeaway from the first couple of weeks is that rookie Phillies manager Gabe Kapler is one of a kind.

Joey Votto Performs A Public Service, Robs Eagles Fan Of Happiness Joey Votto Performs A Public Service, Robs Eagles Fan Of Happiness

Reds first baseman Joey Votto, who loves to punk and clown doofuses, performed a good deed during Monday’s Reds-Phillies game when he snatched up the remaining dignity of a guy in an Eagles jersey.

Six Games In, Everyone Already Hates Gabe Kapler Six Games In, Everyone Already Hates Gabe Kapler

On Thursday, the Phillies won their home opener for the first time since 2011. They did so easily, in a 5-0 win over the Marlins where Miami had just four baserunners. The game even ended in 3 hours, 3 minutes. Pretty quick for a game where the Phillies saw 177 pitches! It was a great day at the ballpark.

Denver Post's Guide To Rockies' Stadium Features Big-Ass Photo Of Phillies' Stadium Denver Post's Guide To Rockies' Stadium Features Big-Ass Photo Of Phillies' Stadium

This is an unfortunate thing that happened in the pages of the Denver Post:

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