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Shohei Ohtani Will Have Tommy John Surgery, But Should Still Smash Dingers Next Year Shohei Ohtani Will Have Tommy John Surgery, But Should Still Smash Dingers Next Year

Shohei Ohtani, the Angels’ pitcher/hitter/karaoke singer who has UCL damage, will undergo Tommy John surgery at the end of the season, the team announced today:

The NFL's Stupid New Roughing The Passer Rule Cost William Hayes His Season The NFL's Stupid New Roughing The Passer Rule Cost William Hayes His Season

Dolphins defensive lineman William Hayes hurt himself while sacking Derek Carr yesterday, and today two worst-case scenarios were confirmed. Not only did Hayes tear his ACL on the play, he did so while trying to follow the NFL’s asinine new rule that prevents defenders from landing on the quarterback.

Jimmy Garoppolo Leaves Game With Reported "Serious Knee Injury"

While trying to lead a 49ers comeback against the Chiefs, San Francisco QB Jimmy Garoppolo chose to absorb a big hit from Steven Nelson at the end of a scramble, rather than just run out of bounds. It was a poor choice, and whether it was anything about the hit itself or simply the awkward plant by his left leg, it…

Jose Abreu's Had A Run Of Bad Luck With His Groin Area Jose Abreu's Had A Run Of Bad Luck With His Groin Area

White Sox first baseman José Abreu will miss his team’s upcoming series with the Indians, as he was hospitalized and treated for “an ingrown hair infection in his right thigh.” That’s disconcerting and gross enough on its own, but when combined with the fact that Abreu just underwent surgery for a “strangled testicle”…

Taiwan Jones Injured On Helmet-To-Head Hit Taiwan Jones Injured On Helmet-To-Head Hit

Taiwan Jones suffered a scary-looking injury in the third quarter of the Bills’ game against the Chargers today. He picked up a muffed punt, lost his helmet and took a helmet-to-head hit in his own end zone.

Aaron Rodgers's Knee Is All Messed Up, But He's Still Going To Play Aaron Rodgers's Knee Is All Messed Up, But He's Still Going To Play

Aaron Rodgers is officially active for the Packers’ game against the Vikings today, after a week of uncertainty due to a mysterious knee injury suffered in the second quarter of the season opener against the Bears.

Georgia State Coach Shawn Elliott Tore His Biceps Celebrating Touchdown In 41-7 Loss

Showing the unbridled enthusiasm of an assistant special teams coach, Georgia State head coach Shawn Elliott celebrated so hard after his team went up 7-0 on NC State last weekend that he tore his right biceps. He told reporters today that he will get surgery next week, which means Elliott will coach this Friday’s…

It Sure Looks Like A Colorado Player Twisted The Hell Out Of Adrian Martinez's Leg It Sure Looks Like A Colorado Player Twisted The Hell Out Of Adrian Martinez's Leg

With 3:29 remaining in the fourth quarter and Nebraska leading Colorado 28-27, the Huskers were at midfield and driving toward the end zone when freshman quarterback Adrian Martinez took the ball and sprinted on a designed run to the right. Martinez hadn’t been perfect in his first-ever start, but with one score…

Aaron Rodgers Leaves Game With Knee Injury [Updates]

Aaron Rodgers fully healed from his broken collarbone last season, but he couldn’t get through the Packers’ season opener before hurting his knee.

Blue Jays' Randal Grichuk Busted Up In Collision With Security Guard's Stool Blue Jays' Randal Grichuk Busted Up In Collision With Security Guard's Stool

In the fourth inning of Sunday’s Indians-Blue Jays tilt, right fielder Randal Grichuk charged in on a foul pop off the bat of Brandon Guyer. Grichuk is watching the ball the whole way in, and never sees the on-field security guard backing away from the on-rushing Justin Smoak:

Fresh Out Of More Obscure Maladies, Fate Sends A Baseball Into Noah Syndergaard's Ribs

In a turn of events that is both scarier and less troubling than his recent battle with hand, foot, and mouth disease, Noah Syndergaard was nailed in the ribs by a screaming comebacker Saturday night against the Phillies, and had to leave the game.

Aw Fuck, Shohei Ohtani Needs Tommy John Surgery Aw Fuck, Shohei Ohtani Needs Tommy John Surgery

As a hitter, Shohei Ohtani has seemed pretty dang healthy since returning to the Angels lineup from a UCL sprain in his throwing elbow in July. As a pitcher, however, he was kept off the mound for nearly three months while undergoing a non-surgical rehab program. When he returned last weekend, he only got seven outs…

José Abreu Needed Emergency Surgery To Save A "Strangled" Testicle José Abreu Needed Emergency Surgery To Save A "Strangled" Testicle

White Sox first baseman José Abreu hasn’t played in a couple weeks, a result of an ambiguous outpatient “lower abdominal surgery” he reportedly underwent on August 20. Hernioplasty? Appendectomy? A testicle that twisted around and became tangled up in its own [passes out cold]:

Elena Delle Donne Will Somehow Start Game 4 After Nasty Knee Injury Elena Delle Donne Will Somehow Start Game 4 After Nasty Knee Injury

Elena Delle Donne is listed as a starter for the Washington Mystics in their do-or-die Game 4 semifinal matchup against the Atlanta Dream Sunday afternoon. I am sure you will join me in saying please don’t make me watch the video of her knee bending backwards like al dente linguine again.

The College Football Season Began With A UCF Player Carried Off On A Stretcher The College Football Season Began With A UCF Player Carried Off On A Stretcher

Thursday night was, for all intents and purposes, the beginning of the college football season, as an actual ranked team in UCF took on UConn in the silliest rivalry in sports. (There’s also a Northwestern-Purdue game, for the true perverts among us.)

Doug Pederson, Scolding Reporter For Asking Same Question A Different Way: "Ask It A Different Way"

By my count, Eagles head coach Doug Pederson was asked five different times about the status of Carson Wentz in his Sunday afternoon press conference. The first was something like “has Carson been cleared for contact,” and from there the assorted reporters tried out a few promising variations.

Aaron Sanchez Says He's Been Out For Two Months Because A Suitcase Hurt His Finger Aaron Sanchez Says He's Been Out For Two Months Because A Suitcase Hurt His Finger

Blue Jays starter Aaron Sanchez hasn’t pitched since June 21, in a rough one-inning appearance against the Angels. After he exited that start, Sanchez went on the 60-day DL for a bruised right finger, and he’s now touring the rehab-start circuit.

The Details Of Teddy Bridgewater's Knee Surgery Are Gruesome The Details Of Teddy Bridgewater's Knee Surgery Are Gruesome

It’s been nearly two years since then-Vikings (and current Jets) quarterback Teddy Bridgewater suffered a catastrophic knee injury during practice. Now, the doctor who performed the surgeries to repair Bridgewater’s ruined knee, Dan Cooper, has shared some of the details of what went down with ESPN. They are pretty…

UFC Fighter Bryce Mitchell Drilled His Nuts Apart UFC Fighter Bryce Mitchell Drilled His Nuts Apart

“So i was gunna train today but i ripped my nutsack in half,” begins a Homeric Facebook post by UFC featherweight Bryce Mitchell. This is the “A screaming comes across the sky” of our time.

This Is A Rough Little League Injury This Is A Rough Little League Injury

A 77 MPH Little League fastball might not be equivalent to a 100 MPH major-league fastball, but a pitch to the crotch is painful at any level of baseball.

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