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Oh God, I Hope This Freak Accident Doesn't Derail The Daniel Cormier-Stipe Miocic Superfight Oh God, I Hope This Freak Accident Doesn't Derail The Daniel Cormier-Stipe Miocic Superfight

Daniel Cormier and Stipe Miocic are going to fight this weekend! It will be the first clash between two active UFC champions in years! Fans have endured barren cards in places like Utica and Singapore while waiting for this genuine superfight! It should be great! Unless of course, uh, Daniel Cormier can’t fight…

The Results Of Taking A Fastball To The Nuts Are As Horrifying As You Can Imagine The Results Of Taking A Fastball To The Nuts Are As Horrifying As You Can Imagine

Welcome to Meat Sack, a guide to sports-related body horror. Today’s column is about Yadier Molina’s exploded nuts.

Angels Rookie Pitcher Jake Jewell Carried Off On Stretcher After Awful Ankle Injury Angels Rookie Pitcher Jake Jewell Carried Off On Stretcher After Awful Ankle Injury

Angels pitcher Jake Jewell, making only the third MLB appearance of his career, suffered a brutal injury on his right ankle Wednesday night while trying to slide into home for a play at the plate with Boston’s J.D. Martinez.

Cubs Reliever Brandon Morrow Says He Hurt Himself While Taking Off His Pants Cubs Reliever Brandon Morrow Says He Hurt Himself While Taking Off His Pants

The Cubs didn’t use closer Brandon Morrow in either of their games Tuesday against the Dodgers, instead relying on a bevy of other relievers. He would’ve been really helpful in the first game, which the Cubs lost 4-3 after Justin Wilson blew a 3-2 lead in the ninth. According to the team, the reason Morrow wasn’t…

World-Class Doofus Hunter Strickland Out For Two Months After Punching A Wall World-Class Doofus Hunter Strickland Out For Two Months After Punching A Wall

Giants reliever Hunter Strickland was very definitively Not Mad while exiting the eventual San Francisco loss last night. On his walk back to the dugout after blowing his team’s lead, Strickland exchanged words with Giant-killing Marlins outfielder Lewis Brinson after Brinson both tagged Strickland for a game-tying…

Javier Fortuna Falls Out Of Ring, Is Removed On Stretcher By Paramedics; Opponent Says "He Was Looking For An Excuse"

Dominican super lightweight Javier Fortuna left his bout in Texas tonight against Adrian Granados on a stretcher after tumbling out of the ring and appearing to hit his neck or head on something ringside. Curiously, (skeptical?) Showtime commentators immediately started speculating about rematch possibilities while…

Miguel Cabrera Done For The Season With Ruptured Biceps Tendon Miguel Cabrera Done For The Season With Ruptured Biceps Tendon

Miguel Cabrera left Tuesday’s loss to the Twins in the bottom of the third inning with what was initially described by the Tigers as a left biceps tendon strain. Cabrera took a looping cut on a Jake Odorizzi off-speed pitch and immediately winced and grabbed his bicep before walking into the dugout and out of sight.

Bryce Harper Roughed Up And Bad-Mouthed In Comprehensively Rotten 24 Hours Bryce Harper Roughed Up And Bad-Mouthed In Comprehensively Rotten 24 Hours

C.C. Sabathia of the dastardly New York Yankees pegged dear Dinger Lord Bryce Harper in the funny bone in the top of the fifth inning Tuesday, with two men on and the Yankees clinging to a 2-0 lead. Scum! Murder most foul!

St. Louis Jury Sticks Rams With $12.5 Million Bill For Reggie Bush's "Concrete Ring Of Death" Injury St. Louis Jury Sticks Rams With $12.5 Million Bill For Reggie Bush's "Concrete Ring Of Death" Injury

St. Louis’s Edward Jones Dome—now the Dome at America’s Center—was a piece of crap football stadium for many reasons, just one of which was a wide warning track of concrete that ran around the stands and presented a hazard for be-cleated football players whose actions and momentum occasionally carried them onto its…

Andrew Luck Threw A Damn Football! Andrew Luck Threw A Damn Football!

Big NFL news today: Andrew Luck put a frickin’ football in his hands and then threw the football. It’s the first time he’s done that in something like 272 years.

Oh No, Vlad Jr.'s Injury Timeline Is Expanding Oh No, Vlad Jr.'s Injury Timeline Is Expanding

The Blue Jays put gentle dinger machine Vladimir Guerrero Jr. on the 7-day disabled list last weekend after he tweaked a leg injury on a dipshit single on Saturday. It was a tough blow, but we are grownups, and we can survive seven days without our strong dong-mashing idol. It has now been seven days—where is Young…

The Sound When These Two Men Smash Their Dicks And Balls Together Will Stay With You Long Into The Night

This happened in the seventh inning of Saturday’s Mariners-Rays game, with a runner on first and the Rays holding a 6-3 lead. It was a clutch, inning-ending grab, but it came with great, great sacrifice:

Olivier Giroud, Matt Miazga Bloodied In Pre-World Cup Friendly

As if the French didn’t have enough to worry about—seeing their national team down after one half to the U.S. in its last tune-up before the World Cup—now superstar Olivier Giroud has left the match alongside Matt Miazga after the two clashed heads on a corner kick.

Universe Snuffs Last Remaining Spark Of Joy, Sends Vlad Jr. To The Disabled List Universe Snuffs Last Remaining Spark Of Joy, Sends Vlad Jr. To The Disabled List

In an absolute bullcrap turn of events, dear sweet masher Vladimir Guerrero Jr. was sent to the disabled list Thursday with an injured leg. Per the Toronto Sun:

Clay Matthews Takes Comebacker To The Face In Charity Softball Game Clay Matthews Takes Comebacker To The Face In Charity Softball Game

Clay Matthews was pitching in a charity softball game in Wisconsin Saturday when a sharply hit comebacker nailed him directly in his face, in front of the mound:

Clayton Kershaw’s going back to the DL after straining his back in his first start back from the DL. Back back back.

Yet Again, We've Reached Peak Mets Yet Again, We've Reached Peak Mets

On Tuesday, Mets co-ace Noah Syndergaard underwent an MRI exam that revealed a strained ligament in his pitching index finger. A few hours later, Steven Matz left in the fourth inning of his start with finger discomfort. After taking a 6-2 lead into the seventh inning, the Mets’ bullpen completed its now-nightly…

Kyrie Irving Missed Game 7 Due To Corrective Nasal Surgery Kyrie Irving Missed Game 7 Due To Corrective Nasal Surgery

A mild hubbub was made by Mark Jackson out of the absence of Kyrie Irving from Boston’s bench in Game 7. Jackson was het up, complaining that Kyrie is “more important than an assistant coach” and that it would be a real problem if Kyrie was “just at home chilling or somewhere not important,” instead of, uhh, sitting…

Young Braves Stud Ronald Acuña's Leg Bends Horribly On Infield Single Young Braves Stud Ronald Acuña's Leg Bends Horribly On Infield Single

Braves super-prospect Ronald Acuña Jr. beat out an infield single in the top of the 7th inning against the Red Sox Sunday. Shortly after crossing first base, while signaling to the umpire, Acuña took a bad step with his left leg and something very ugly and unnatural happened in the area of his knee:

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